Jonathan
Harker's Journal26 September I thought never to write in this diary
again, but the time has come. When I got home last night Mina had supper ready,
and when we had supped she told me of Van Helsing's visit, and of her having given
him the two diaries copied out, and of how anxious she has been about me. She
showed me in the doctor's letter that all I wrote down was true. It seems to have
made a new man of me. It was the doubt as to the reality of the whole thing that
knocked me over. I felt impotent, and in the dark, and distrustful. But, now that
I know, I am not afraid, even of the Count. He has succeeded after all, then,
in his design in getting to London, and it was he I saw. He has got younger, and
how? Van Helsing is the man to unmask him and hunt him out, if he is anything
like what Mina says. We sat late, and talked it over. Mina is dressing, and I
shall call at the hotel in a few minutes and bring him over. He was, I
think, surprised to see me. When I came into the room where he was, and introduced
myself, he took me by the shoulder, and turned my face round to the light, and
said, after a sharp scrutiny, "But Madam Mina told me you were ill,
that you had had a shock." It was so funny to hear my wife called 'Madam
Mina' by this kindly, strong-faced old man. I smiled, and said, "I was ill,
I have had a shock, but you have cured me already." "And how?" "By
your letter to Mina last night. I was in doubt, and then everything took a hue
of unreality, and I did not know what to trust, even the evidence of my own senses.
Not knowing what to trust, I did not know what to do, and so had only to keep
on working in what had hitherto been the groove of my life. The groove ceased
to avail me, and I mistrusted myself. Doctor, you don't know what it is to doubt
everything, even yourself. No, you don't, you couldn't with eyebrows like yours." He
seemed pleased, and laughed as he said, "So! You are a physiognomist. I learn
more here with each hour. I am with so much pleasure coming to you to breakfast,
and, oh, sir, you will pardon praise from an old man, but you are blessed in your
wife." I would listen to him go on praising Mina for a day, so I simply
nodded and stood silent. "She is one of God's women, fashioned by His
own hand to show us men and other women that there is a heaven where we can enter,
and that its light can be here on earth. So true, so sweet, so noble, so little
an egoist, and that, let me tell you, is much in this age, so sceptical and selfish.
And you, sir . . . I have read all the letters to poor Miss Lucy, and some of
them speak of you, so I know you since some days from the knowing of others, but
I have seen your true self since last night. You will give me your hand, will
you not? And let us be friends for all our lives." We shook hands,
and he was so earnest and so kind that it made me quite choky. "And
now," he said, "may I ask you for some more help? I have a great task
to do, and at the beginning it is to know. You can help me here. Can you tell
me what went before your going to Transylvania? Later on I may ask more help,
and of a different kind, but at first this will do." "Look here,
Sir," I said, "does what you have to do concern the Count?" "It
does," he said solemnly. "Then I am with you heart and soul. As
you go by the 10:30 train, you will not have time to read them, but I shall get
the bundle of papers. You can take them with you and read them in the train." After
breakfast I saw him to the station. When we were parting he said, "Perhaps
you will come to town if I send for you, and take Madam Mina too." "We
shall both come when you will," I said. I had got him the morning papers
and the London papers of the previous night, and while we were talking at the
carriage window, waiting for the train to start, he was turning them over. His
eyes suddenly seemed to catch something in one of them, "The Westminster
Gazette", I knew it by the colour, and he grew quite white. He read something
intently, groaning to himself, "Mein Gott! Mein Gott! So soon! So soon!"
I do not think he remembered me at the moment. Just then the whistle blew, and
the train moved off. This recalled him to himself, and he leaned out of the window
and waved his hand, calling out, "Love to Madam Mina. I shall write so soon
as ever I can." |
